Gratitude by Letters

When I was having that alphabet soup, I never thought that it would pay off.

--Vanna White  

After 9/11 we found ourselves in the office of a local psychotherapist. Our daughter had just been prescribed barbiturates by an ancient doctor, for stomach cramping. He had condescendingly pointed to his head as we walked out of his office. She was five.

After throwing the script in the bin on the way to the car, I vowed to do what ever it took to help her without resorting to insane drugs. I knew that cramping to tears was no fun, and was absolutely sure he was both pill-happy and overlooking something basic. 

Willing to at least entertain the idea that she might have a physical response to the very emotional experience of 9/11 we sought help.  

That is where we learned a simple relaxation trick that made a big difference until we found the ultimate cause, which I'll share with you later.

It turns out the alphabet is an excellent tool used for relaxation! It keeps focus, even in the very young, it doesn't require too much thought to stick with it, and you take it with you where ever you go.

The basic technique is this: starting with "A" you think of something you like beginning with "A", you can do just one, or stay on it for awhile, which can be helpful with little kids trying to figure out beginning sounds. What begins with aaaaaa? Aaaa-aaa-aaaapple! Etc.

We used it to fall asleep at night, picking books to pull from and hinting heavily made our way through five year old relevant material. (Pooh) Bear, Christopher Robin, (Eeyore is a) Donkey. We also got that idea from our teacher, who used it in line at the grocery store naming sports cars in order.

I found myself during any tough or stressy moment returning to it, sometimes aloud with the children. And then I made the leap to using it as a way to talk about favorite things, in effect counting blessings. Since then it has been called the Gratitude Game, and it is a favorite among my clients of all ages!

Gratitude as a practice is so powerful, and add the relaxation of focusing on something light and pleasant, and all the right parts of the brain are engaged to create an antidote to the fight-or-flight lives we lead. It's easiest to start with really simple categories. Nothing serious about them. Heart rate zipping at the thought of having to wait on someone to call back? Name fruits: apricots, bananas, canteloupe... Finding that worry about planning the next holiday in your way? Run through carpentry vocab: dovetail, epoxy, file... Or maybe you're in pain? List flowers: gardenia, hosta, impatiens...

Once you've mastered the distracting to relax part, try the gratitude part in an already relaxed moment, like right before bed, or in the shower. Really be present with what each letter represents. Smile and breathe deeply while you gently allow your mind to find your blessings.

This exercise really helped with our daughter until we found that tomatoes were making her miserable! Not surprising, I don't do well with them either.

If you're struggling with any health issue you'd like to discuss, I'm certainly available as a health coach and would be happy to explore solutions with you. Feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.

On a technical note, there needs to be an online "J" forum--it can get tricky! Especially within categories. For "X", and sometimes "Z" you are just going to include in the word. I think word game people will have serious advantage with these.

I'd love to hear the categories you come up with!